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Do you have a best friend? Tell us about your best friend! Maybe you have more than one. Why is it that just one never rises to the top? Are there pros and cons to having a best friend? Why might it be better not to have one? When has it really helped you to have a best friend? What do you think are qualities about yourself that help you be the sort of person who can have a best friend?

Pandalover, age 11, writes:

My best friend has been my best friend since I was 3. We did everything together; play dates every day! Sure, she and I had friends, but we spent more time with just us than with our other friends. 

In about 3rd grade, things started going wrong.  She was in Girl Scouts, and I thought Girl Scouts were stupid.  She didn't mind, but everyone popular was in Girl Scouts. She started spending less and less time with me. She also started dance: jazz, tap, ballet. Just about every kind. 

Soon she had too many friends to handle.  I could tell the stress was killing her, but she powered through. Then all the time she had was lunch. I still care about her and her family and love her in a friendly way, but it’s becoming hard. When I try and ask her something, I have to wait like 5 min., and when I’m talking, someone else talks and she listens to them.

She never likes anything I like. She hates my favorite singers and says they try too hard, but her favorite singers she loves. When I try to let my feelings about them flow, she cuts me off and gets mad. She is obsessed with Harry Potter and never lets me decide what to do; it’s only Harry Potter. She’s also kind of bossy. 

I am afraid of telling her the way I feel because she can get really mad! I’ve started to make new friends and reach out more. Maybe having one best friend is not so cool, but having too many best friends is not that cool either.

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Kit Kat, age 13, writes:

I have a best friend that is with me when I am sad or happy. My best friend is not physically on earth, but he is mentally here with me. He's my top friend for sticking with me. My friend is God. Though I have countless other best friends on earth, they are not as understanding as God.

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Kaytrina, age 15, writes:

My best friend is one of the most amazing people I know. I can talk to her about anything, and I know she won't judge me harshly or criticize me in any way. We talk for hours on the phone, even if we just talked the day before! She is shy, but when she's with me, she comes out of her shell a little more. I think that's great to see! We have a blast when she comes over to my house!

I think the benefits to having a best friend outweigh the detriments. A few detriments may be that you don't mix and mingle as much when your best friend is there with you, and that you are a lot more upset if that friend moves away, since you're so close. The benefits, among many, are: you always have someone to talk to and to support you, you don’t have to worry about making a fool out of yourself around them, and you have lots more fun together!

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Emily M, age 12, writes:

I have a few close friends that I would call my best friends. One of those friends recently moved away to Texas. It has been hard to keep in touch, but we both try very hard to stay close. I think this is a good quality in a friend. A girl needs a friend who will take time out of her day to help you. That is why my friends are the BEST! You rock, Hannah, Briana, Sara, and Sophie!

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LadyGreenEyez, age 15, writes:

My best friend is Monica. Monica and I have been best friends for about 4 years now. I met her in 7th grade, and now we are in 10th.

The reason why she’s my best friend is because she’s always been by my side and we’ve gone through everything together. Through good and bad, she understands me and what I go through. On days when it feels like the whole world is crashing down on me, she knows what to say to make it better.

She’s my sister from another mister. I love her! I wouldn't trade her for any other. Monica is a great friend, and I hope she knows it.

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Snicole, age 14, writes:

My best friend is really kind and easygoing. For me, the only qualities I look for in a best friend are kind and thinking. We’re both beautiful…

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Marissa, age 11, writes:

My BFF's name is Tia. She and I both used to live in Missouri, but now I live in Iowa and she lives in California. Now, if we go on a car trip there, I can rightfully say, "This trip is taking hours! Where does she live - a thousand miles away? ^ ^ We are both SmartGirl Authors (well, she soon will be) and love, love, love to write. We play our own imaginary game and bake cookies. Well, we used to. I wonder when I'll ever get to see her again. Oh well. For right now, I guess email and phone calls will have to serve their purpose.

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Anonymous, age 14, writes:

I do have a best friend. I trust her. She’s a good friend (most of the time). Actually, I have two best friends, but my first on is closer to me than my second one. My friends are important to me.

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Anonymous, age 11, writes:

My best friend is not my friend anymore because we got in to a fight, so I guess I don’t really have a best friend. My other friend took my real best friend away from me.

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Lindina, age 13, writes:

My best friend happens to be one of the best friends in the world! She is pretty much my sister. We have been friends ever since we can remember! I love her, and she loves me.

We are almost like twins the way we do everything alike. We both are poets, and we both write music. We both play the guitar, too. We help each other out with everything. We love telling secrets, and we laugh so hard we can barely breathe! It’s so fun having her around.

We are also weird friends. The nickname that she gave me is "Olive" and hers is "Turie”; weird, huh?

If I went on telling about her, there wouldn't be enough space. So good bye!

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Molly, age 15, writes:

I have a best friend, and she will ALWAYS be my best friend. I think it takes a lot to become somebody's best friend. You have to go through some pretty tough stuff and bond in ways that you can't with most people. There is always a deeper connection than with other people. That's why we can finish each other's sentences or understand each other when what we're saying is a big jumble of words.

It's helpful to have a best friend because you know that they'll always be there for you, no matter what. If you fight, though, that really hurts. When you trust someone that much and give them so many pieces of yourself, losing them would be like losing yourself, too.

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Ketha, age 18, writes:

Many days I wish I was a new person. I wish I could start over and go somewhere where no one knew who I was or where I’m from. It’s not OK to be different, and I know I don't fit in. I’m a very open person: open to ideas and open to new things as well as people. I like the outdoors, and I like to day dream. But because of my color, people want me to be something different, hardcore and emotionless. Where I’m from, it’s not OK to cry. It’s not OK to feel. I’m trapped in a shell, screaming to get out.

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Dreamer, age 12, writes:

Desiring your love 
I could try and blind myself just in case 
My eyes fall upon your beautiful face 
And I remember once more what I cannot keep 
Your heart forever, your laugh and your weep. 
The feeling I’d feel if I knew you were mine 
Is like sugar and honey, both sweet and divine 
If I had the choice, I would never let go 
Never take for granted the love you bestow 
To just be with the one who’s sent my heart reeling 
And brought about this downpour of emotion and feeling 
Is possibly an experience for just one in a billion
For a connection like this I would search for a million 
Miles... 

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Anonymous, age 16, writes:

I have a few best friends. Having one single best friend may be right for some people, but for me I regard anyone who I am close to as one of my best friends. Having one single best friend can limit the people you become close to.

People are put in your life for a reason, and there's no reason that you can only have one person you share your innermost secrets with, if they are trustworthy and care about you.

An upside to having more than one best friend is that when you fight with that one friend you are not completely alone in what you're going through.

Whether you have one or a few best friends, what matters is that they are trustworthy, kind, and respectful. I hope you, too, can find a best friend out there who has all of these qualities!

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Sophay, age 13, writes:

I used to have a best friend who I could talk to about anything. We had tons of fun together, but I always had another BFF. My BFF and old best friend didn’t like each other, and I thought my BFF was just jealous.

Then, when we go to high school, my old best friend started betraying me and bullying me. Now when I think back, I hardly remember the good times. I miss them a lot, and I remember how much I loved her and trusted her.

I was always taking my other BFF for granted. When my old best friend left me for more popular people, my true BFF was there for me. She has never let me down, and I can’t even imagine what pain I have put her through.

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Girly, age 15, writes:

My first year at a new school, and there are already rumors, getting involved with the wrong people. What I hate is that there’s so much jealousy over the littlest things, like boys, body type, and beauty. Bad things are going around, but I’ve got to keep my head high, even though it hurts. I have two friends who know the real me. The things you hear about me may be true, but they’re as fake as the person who told you.

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Rissa, age 11, writes:

I have a couple best friends, but usually I don't mention how many I have or who they might be. This just ends in fighting. One of my BFFs tries to be The Best. Once, we were talking on the phone, and she said, "Am I your best friend?"

I replied, "Well, I have a lot of best friends."

She said indignantly, "But I’m your best best friend, right?" It was really stupid, but we were littler, after all, and we're still friends since we've worked out all the kinks.

Anyway, best buds are AWESOME! :P I could not go a week without seeing my friends. I mean it! Best friends are a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and especially a mouth to talk and share laughs with. :) I mean really, can you help it if one day you're sharing a banana creme pie, and the next she's shoving it up your nose and laughing? No... didn't think so. ;)

It's sad that sometimes you move away or drift apart, but you have to get over it or you can't live a normal life. If your mom or dad gets a new job, well, you can't exactly talk to their boss and say, "Hey, Mr. So-and-So, can you fire my mom/dad so we don't have to move?" Again: no.

I think you're more likely to have a BFF if you like to have fun but don't make fun of everyone in the tri-state area. My best advice would be:
1. Don't pick favorites.
2. Think about why your best friend is your best friend. Can't think of anything good? Probably not the best choice.
3. Some friendships are just not meant to be.

Hope this helps, fellow SGs! Peace out!

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